Saturday, June 9, 2007
Yuck
AGGGGGHHHH! Today I just feel like screaming. Nothing seems to be going right and the rest of the day doesn't look so bright. I can never seem to pull myself together to get anything done. Sometimes I just want to tell everyone that I won't do anything else unless I want to. Yes, selfish, but that is how I feel.
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9 comments:
i'm sorry, jen. i wish there was something i could do to help. if it makes you feel better, i regularly feel like no matter how hard i try i just can't get it together. i've started trying to see the not being together as a form of challenge and adventure, rather than a source of discouragement and self-loathing. but it doesn't always work.
i love you. if i could, i'd do everything you needed to so you could take a few hours and run away for a bit.
I'd like to run away.....who would like to step into my life right now?
love you!
tash
Tash,
I'll trade you lives for awhile. I'll take your trials and you take mine. When our little experiment is over we might be grateful for what we have...or we might just decide to trade lives! Love you.
Thanks Am,
Your talks came in handy for reference but I mostly wrote my own talk. it is now almost 2 am but I am finally done...now i know why i only speak every five years! Anything more than that and i might start skipping church!
love ya.
it looks like i'm going to have my own late night prepping for church. it's now 11:30 and i'm just wrapping up my school work for the day. which means now it's time to start working on my sunday school lesson for tomorrow. :)
and which of you is trading your life for mine, huh?
Well......Amy, I would probably get you fired if I traded into your life.....hee, hee, hee can u see me trying to teach your students.....ha, ha, ha I think it would be pretty funny. I'm just not sure if I would try to bull my way through it or if I would just put in a video :) (maybe that is the same thing)
Jeni.....well, two cute little girls would be fun for a bit....as long as they SLEEP through the night ;)
Ah......the grass IS always greener on the other side -- so it seems.
Love you both.....and at least I know I have two sisters that can relate to pretty much everything I struggle with in life - what a blessing!
tash
p.s. I do the same thing with Sunday talks.....something about the wee morning hours get the words out of me and onto paper.
well, if we were to trade for this week only, you'd get to watch my students squirm their way through a final exam without having to teach them anything. the quarter is over and tomorrow they get to write their little hearts out for two hours in order to demonstrate to me how very much they have learned from me...
there's a part of me that really sympathizes with my students at finals time. i remember how stressful finals week can be. but then, there's another part of me that loves writing and proctoring a final and watching them squirm...
i think it's the machiavelli coming out in me.
WELL.......do you think I would know what "machiavelli" means without looking it up??? I'm on pins and needles......another foyer file came out of IBESR....and ours deserves to come out too!
tash
zeeny- all you can do is get up and hope for the best, but not be surprised by the disaster. Motherhood can get you down, especially when your kids are too young to say thanks, but the "I love you" while they have their arms wrapped around you makes up for the toys everywhere, millions of dirty diapers stinking up the house, food all over the floor, and piles of laundry. Remember, like I constantly have to, you chose to have these gifts from God, and your job is to love them and teach them to be the best they can be. I know it is hard, every mom goes through it, it is the way we choose to handle it that makes or breaks us. You can do it. You have to. You get up and say today is a new day, this will be a good day, even with the ups and downs. Laugh at the disaster, take a picture of the messes that you want to scream at, because that picture will 1) cause you to take a breathe and relax so that you don't freak out and 2) be a great memory to share with your girls someday. Keep on keeping on. Hang tough.
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